I was at the bar last night dancing, puking in a trash can, and ordering another drink all at the same time. Have I lost my dignity?
haha no as long as you did hook up with anybody after that.
... oops
Not everyone can get ass. Some people are good at building rockets. You’re good at sleeping with many men. It’s an art.
Imagine a baby lion feeding on an injured gazelle and it tasting fresh blood for the first time. That's me and this breakfast sammich
we decided it was best to cut you off after we caught you trying to "baptize" my cat in the jungle juice
He paid me to blow him while doing a handstand. Does that make me a whore or just a budding gymnast?
Fran... I put my tongue in somebody's gage hole last night.
My Yoga instructor is playing the music from 'Requiem for a Dream' it makes me very reluctant to put my ass in the air
Let's just not urinate on things that don't need to be urinated on
She acts like a 3 year old but with fantastic tits. This girl is the reason women are objectified
Gonna open a taco bell in colorado. Millions bro.
So hungover. Walked into room and poached their catering before realized in wrong place. Scowled and ate it anyway
God, please protect all woman from micro-penises
At the bar in my pajamas again
Ummm that is the 3rd time this week and it is Wednesday
My neck feel like I've been sucking Goliath's dick.
So apparently I’m into choking now
Randomize
