dude, best porn name ever, "the Hunt for Red Cocktober"
Thursdays are my worst days
but now we sippin champagne when we thirstay?
Sorry you had to hear me puke. I didn't know I called you. Was it graceful?
Only you can can turn Jenga into a drinking and then a sex game.
Just topless shotgunned a bud light alone. I am about to peer mentor the shit out of these freshmen.
hot doctor. gonna get him to touch my tits. 'think i felt a lump' excuse in 3-2-1...
I just wanted to clarify that I am not bisexual and had no intentions of ACTUALLY penetrating my roommate with a can of bugspray.
Advice for you. Never grate cheese on your counter then not cleanup the scraps, then have your bf over and endup having sex on the counter. Theres literally cheese melted in and around my ass.
Basically I don't wanna put on pants...but I'm stoked for drinking my face off tomorrow.
If I end up in a healthy relationship because of this, I will NEVER forgive you!!!
He's a fucking asshole. Who gives good head. And seriously I have never seen someone less committed to hair color
You were throwing cups at people in the basement, yelling at them to get out of your swamp.
Thank god I work in a lab. This pinkeye is out of control and my safety glasses are the only thing stopping me from digging at my eye with a pen
I have hobbies that aren't destroying myself and others...i can make hats.....
Sorry I banged your sister. But in my defense you ain't fucked me in a month. In fact I should get a medal for keeping it in your family.
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