I feel like abortions should bother me more
I'm way too drunk on a Sunday to handle this level of Jesus.
I intend to get homeless drunk
My gym is having a pizza and beer party. God im starting to love this place.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Its only tuesday and I need a dd home from work. This is getting too easy.
She is trying to turtle bite me and when I pull away she says just let it happen. Then she pulled a poptart out of nowhere
I have glow sticks stuck to my boobs and a missed call from the 911. I'd say last night was a success.
Human Centipede: The Drinking Game. This is non-negotiable. First one to pass out the rest of us get to FEEEEED THEM!
Dude. Zebras have bad attitudes.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
My heart feels like a grape in a barrel about to be crushed into wine
we watched a porno and made a drinking game out of it. best first date ever.
I'm 2 beers deep on an empty stomach, and I just wanna say, I pride myself on my use of commas
He ripped my sink off my bathroom wall and then threw up in it.
We had sex last night...... This "Friends" thing is going well.
Im so drunk and the cops showed up so i ran on all 4's through the woods because i had no shoes hoping they would mistake me for a fox
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