sooo how much is appropriate to spend on a vibrator? what if it is really legit looking?
Do you think an esthetician would be willing to wax the Chanel Cs into my crotch? That way, whenever a guy gets ready to pound on it I can go "Careful, it's Chanel."
he pointed at my clit and asked with a confused face, 'whats this thingy??"
I typed "housewife" into monster.com's search engine....I got zero results...kinda bummed
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I gave him a blowie and after he said he wanted to send a giftbasket to the girl we met through.
I love college. Only here at ten in the morning can you hear "Man, hot sauce on my pussy was my worst idea in a long time." while walking down the hall.
I am dressing up to go buy weed. I need to get out more.
on a brighter note, the strip club found my atm card
we ran out of cups so i finished the night drinking out of a paint can.
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Girl your like that last load of laundry... I'll do you eventually just not tonight.
Also, we just got yelled at by a cop for being awesome...or making out in a fountain. Whatever.
How is it that I've hooked up with not one but two guys in the children's section of a bookstore tonight?
No matter how drunk I am or how drunk I'll ever be I love you
Puked in my purse on my Uber ride home last night. Safe to say it's not a good idea to beer bong a whole bottle of wine.
Pretty sure he proposed because my house is awesome. His ass is a ten and he's offering to pay more than half the bills... How expensive is a divorce really? I mean I could probably put up with him for three or four years but a lifetime is a big ask.
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