me and ur bf were arguing about whether coke was vegan. i really hope it's vegan
Conclusion from last night: Sometimes being classy isn't as fun as making out with a guy on a pooltable in a bar. Happy birthday, Canada.
Nice. I ate a jello shot out of a bovine blow up doll's love hole last night
his life revolves around getting high and answering people on yahoo answers. he's perfect for you.
He likes bondage and spanking and shit.
Oh, so "normal" kinky not "I wanna pee on people" kinky. I can handle that.
I just threw up on the floor. And we're gonna fuck on the beer pong table, so keep everyone upstairs.
I should start printing out disclaimer handouts and passing them out to people saying, "I can not be held responsible for anything I say or do this evening."
The other day, he sent me a snapchat of his dick in the forest. He captioned it "nature nudes."
There is a time and place for BDSM, in-between disney sing-alongs is not one of them.
I didn't see her "bad karma" tattoo until after I was balls deep
So vagazzling was a success
Accidentally made a bowl of macaroni and cheese with a bottle of vodka. It's not that bad
College is really paying off. I am gonna be a great teacher. I just made a grading sheet for weed. This shit got an A.
I'm going to start talking to Bill again, he has friends with boats which means we'll get to go on boats.
I couldnt sleep the entire night because her cats kept reaching under the door like they were trying to eat me for taking their place on her bed.
I always knew youd fuck a cat lady
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