respond to me or i'm telling everyone that you inserted a vodka soaked tampon into your anus
I always wonder when I meet a guy from online if he needs a moment to mentally register and accept the size of my ass. maybe ill wear a dress.
i wish that i had sketchier friends so that it would be easier to get drugs
you kept yelling at her to "show me your genitals" until the bouncers told us to leave...at which point you showed them YOUR genitals...
please don't ever take me to a strip club again...
The online application for Mcdonald's said I could do incredible things there. Today I threw out shit filled underwear in the women's restroom and escorted a very drunk/high 42 year old man outside after he ordered a 5 dollar foot long and a bloody mary.
That's saying a lot from the girl who takes her liquor with her to the library
im not going to any frat parties next semester. for once i want them to think its actually hard to get in my vagina
He might have if you were a little more subtle about your feelings instead of telling everyone multiple times how much you wanted his dick
diet's not working. come over. i need someone to fuck the hungry out of me.
So I was trying to finish off that sick uv whipped and I chased it with yogurt. Not a good idea
Let's get the cat blown out
Like, yea, let's talk sexy but also...LOOK! I SAW A CAT!
He said he wanted to lick the breadcrumbs off my chest
This is the best thing we've done since that time we started a religion
YALL MOTHERFUCKERS WANNA WATCH HEAVY METAL AND SMOKE WEED AND PLAY POOL AND DRINK BEER AND SMOKE WEED
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