But do you think a lot of ppl use facebook as a masturbation supplement to porn?
Let me make clear that I am not a facebook masturbator
so ur a construction worker, male escort, sex god and surfer? lol
well its been awhile since I've surfed
you don't remember? you called me at 330 crying because you were in the middle of having sex with corey and forgot his name. all you kept saying was i'm a drunk bitch.
He told me to pretend to be a shark, and he would slay me with his harpoon cock.
Can the rest of this semester just go by as a montage?
He said finals are more important than getting stoned on 4/20. I'm proud in a disappointing kinda way
Accidentally hit on the same girl twice at the bar, she give me her number both times though so I think its cool.
I woke up with hair in my teeth and half his beard was missing.
The landlord wasn't even off the porch yet and she was packing a bowl, I can't imagine a better best friend
the night was just a blur of sex and pie
There's tequila in my general area. Please pray for me.
The fact our science teacher from high school was buying us drinks and hitting on me doesn't matter.
Typical Sunday morning text...are you alive?
So it turns out strippers do encores if enough people yell. Encore song: Self Esteem.
I just woke up and my ass is covered in honey and my eye brows are shaved off.
Randomize
