A 14 year old with a teardrop tattoo just tried to sell me weed. I'm in the wrong fucking neighborhood.
if by 'bottleservice' you mean 'bringing beers in my purse' then yes, we are.
Okay I woke up in my room, snuggie on, had a water bottle in my hand my tv was on Disney channel and my cigarettes are gone. And I deleted every text in my phone but one that said 'you are absolutely welcome'
ok, she started talking about how she swears her step dad killed her mom. starting to back out of this one
Hahahaha you would not believe what I just pulled out of my vagina. Actually you probably wouldn't be surprised.
She pulled a wad of lint out of my bellybutton while she was blowing me. Said she's never seen anything like it. I've never gone soft so fast.
Revised rule: don't put your dick in the general vacinity of mental instability.
Not even dry humping. Not even a little bit.
Jesus told me in my dream not to go to the party. I am athiest for tonight PARTY ON
My period started right as he was entering, which really helped me sell the "I've never done this before" bit.
I texted him 3 days ago he said he was pre gaming for the Super Bowl today he just text" gtomajg kaka hee 48!!!"
I woke up in a bath tub and my face was sore and it wasn't because of you, I was impressed
Well I'm missing half a toenail if that's any indication of my night
well, you know. whores of a feather.
The air tonight was full of shame when we saw each other.
Well if u wouldn't have had sex on the front porch last night I think that could have been avoided.
Just woke up beside some twink in a kilt.. how is your sunday going
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