They upped the price of Plan B! Rite-aid is going to be the reason I have illegitimate kids.
We all have a cross to bear. Yours just happens to be attracting gay men.
I know I said I was done dating 22 year olds but it's not my fault all the guys my age gave up on life and got fat
love being home for thanksgiving just had grandma pick me up from the frat by her house
i'm sorry i gave your brother a handjob while you were on the blanket next to us, but to be fair your back was turned.
then he tried to tell me how many times he had seen Scott's dick. his estimate was about 180 times. he thought I didn't understand.
You expect me to find someone in two days who I feel comfortable enough with to ask them to get drunk and go play in foam with me?
Nah its cool some of my cousins have fucked the same girls and brought them on family vacations and everything.
they need to invent a card that reads "thanks for all those boners you gave me that you did NOTHING about"
Guess I was throwing darts at a patrons head last night, lol! Black out
So I went tanning and I burned my boobs.
They're like sad pomegranates.
Are you still going to come over for your post Alcoholics Anonymous beer?
I rode home in a shopping cart so there's that. MVP to the guy that pushed it.
Well I typed "penicillin a" into the search engine and before I could finish "penicillin and drinking" popped up. Google knows me too well.
It's less than a hour into 2020 and I already want to punch some people in the face
Randomize
