I would do horrible things to your vagina.
Prove it.
wow wtf my bar tab was 80 dollars
IT WAS DOLLAR BEER NIGHT
who cares. he's ugly and has a dick this big -->
accomplished twins. life is a go
Let's go to weight watchers and eat in front of them.
we need to drink 2009 down the drain
Brought out my three foot martini glass last night, that explains why I haven't left my bed all day long.
Matt just took me to visit my puke stain from 2 weeks ago at the train station...I'm fucking impressive
She whispered into my eat that she wanted me to fuck her while her parrot watched...
Can you explain to me later why there's a pirate hat in my bathtub
Mom just texted me to see if it was you who was streaking at the Mariner game... Did you accept yet another $1 bet?
Did strip banana grams actually happen last night
If we could give a gymnastic score to drunken nights, I would be a part of the Fab Five.
I honestly think she should have her own reality show called "Lowering the Bar" and it consists of a camera crew following her from Bar to bar hooking up with unsuspecting drunk attractive men.
We walked around last night for hours saying nothing but nom nom nom and barking at each other.
Randomize
