My moms helping me unpack but im getting a little nervous because I dont remember where i put my dildo
you kept wiggling your finger at everybody at the party telling us this is how he fingered me. you seemed pretty upset about it.
this girl walked outta his room as i was walkin in to scottys and i just say " time for the walk of shame baby! whoooo!". she ran away
he changed my name in his contacts to "rick", so his mom wouldn't know he was texting me
I feel like you just avenged me for every guy who came in my hair
maybe it wasnt such a good idea to pregame our lease signing...
I'm at verizon, the guy asked me why my phone is full of seeds. Deff. Not leaving my phone with you anymore.
Don't say that out loud. People might think I really like to pee on you.
Of course you don't like it. I am the one who likes it.
Oh I woke up in my neighbors garage using one of their sleeping bags, as my neighbor was doing laundry in there.
I'm also 3/4 on the frats. Its like my goal of traveling to all 7 continents, but different somehow and a lot less morally sound.
Apparently, Mom was less-than-happy about us shotgunning beers before we opened presents.
I want to break his glasses with my pelvis.
Come my child we shall walk thru the pasture of amazing sex and corndogs. Hint:some corndogs are not corndogs.
I feel like a color. Like a wavy color
You're wrong. It's my BIRTHDAY. We all know it's impossible to get pregnant on my diva day!
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