Ok I love you more. To infumty and beyong.
found an unmarked box of photos in the garage, they were from when my parents first got together. It was fun laughing at their ridiculous eighties outfits and hairstyles, until I found a pic of my dad. naked. with a boner.
vodka and carrot juice, if im gonna drink i at least got my 8 servings of vegetable
I just told my sister I love her. I'm in no condition to drive.
Wtf. I just got invited to a threeway bj session in the bathroom at boiler. Lmao
I dont care if your mom convinced you it should be an abstinent christmas. I did horribly on finals and i'm out of booze, so you will get over her and FUCK. ME. NOW.
It was like an alcohol war zone and you left a soldier behind.
Try not to get arrested for it, but otherwise i support you
He's CUTE. and foreign
It's a never ending cycle of men I've fucked knowing other men I've fucked. I need a new town.
A group of drunk Marines just serenaded me, never leaving this place
Great. Now I have to produce, edit and leak a sex tape before Saturday. Fundraising is hard.
i just smoked marajunia from a shotgun barrell. what have you done today?
Incase you were wondering. Cooking naked turns into sex. Sex and cooking may lead to house fire....
Nothing says girls night like wine cheese and pregnancy tests 😂
Did you apologize to him for the trip to the strip club as a first date or is that something that just gets swept under the rug??
Randomize
