I hate you, and I hope you have babies soon that you love very much. Then I will steal them and feed them to sharks, and you will be so heart broken that you never want to have any more kids and you'll just hide out in a dark room all day wondering how someone could feed another persons babies to sharks.
So My parents cut me off after I started making blood marys with hienz ketchup
so i decided not to tell her that her fiance is cheating since i already bought the bridesmaid dess
girl in front of me in lecture is looking up on ask.com about chlamydia.
Im a photoshop master, i successfully reduced the size of the pupils of all the girls I made out last night with to prove they were not that drunk. So glad the camera goes home with me.
Well, they emptied out the keg by the third kegstand for America.
I fucked your brother... Hey, at least we know he is not gay... You're welcome.
She kept sniffing my sweater and tried to guess what type of detergent I use.
In complete seriousness I think I am the highest person on earth
Antibacterial soap and prayers does not for spermicide make
I had a dream that my roommate walked in on me masturbating and I hissed "I'm not stopping this orgasm train for the likes of you" and just kept going
You also proposed and then tried to jack me off
I love how when they see that I'm upset their initial response is to offer me ecstasy
Would you be so kind as to inform your husband that my truck is forever cursed by mashed potatoes and it's his fault.
In this house, we have but one simple rule: DONT FUCKIN TOUCH MY STUFF OR I'LL CUT YOUR NECK IN UR SLEEP
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