the whole time he was cumming, he did the joey lawrence WHOA. over and over. WHOA. WHOA. WHOA. WHOA.
ok, his religious views on facebook are madonna lyrics. we no longer have to wonder about his sexuality.
Everything was going good until she wanted to update her status...You forgot to close pterodactyl porn from this morning. Clothes went back on.
I have before 2 am pics and after 2am pics, which do you want to see first?
Passing out during sex is actually quite pleasant. its like being rocked to sleep with a penis
Vodka @ 9pm. Library. Nothing can go wrong, I promise.
My knee is bleeding. This cheeseburger is the 3rd thing I made out with today and I think I got a job with the ducks. Catalina is poppin
Im so excited to get permanently banned for life from all the old bars again, it is gonna be christmas after all
We have six bottles of wine and we are at target buying baby oil to grease up the sleds with, just in case you're interested.
We're all just looking at each other quietly, hoping that no one brings up last nights shenanigans.
just sex-dialed 911. that's 34 seconds of dignity i will never get back.
WHAT IS MY LIFE THAT THE ONLY PERSON INTERESTED IN FUCKING ME IS MY 6TH GRADE MATH TEACHER
If you can handle my post-party look you da real MVP
I literally just woke up in a dog bed, in a bathtub in someone else's house...and I'm not wearing pants
He gave me an ambien and I woke up with a raw chicken bone in my purse. I have no idea why but I hope I put it in his butt
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