that place is a roofie-colada waiting to happen
i'm ok with that.. with the right DD it's just a cheaper drunk.. it's the economy, stupid
Last night i was gna tell u about how i was watching project runway & how i was upset bc they replaced tim gunn & heidi klum. but then i realized that i was watching mythbusters.
True life - we need to smoke together more often
I let some guy put hot sauce in my asshole for his birthday
so i replaced his speed with my ped egg shaveings
dont u have athletes foot?
I found a horn on the street but it's okay I disinfected it with vodka
Sorry, I was trapped in a small closet behind a washer. What's up?
They gave me patron and potatoes I couldn't say no
I have to take tonight off from shenanigans. My liver is planning a coup
I think I used my hospital ID to cut the coke last night. I need to swab it for residue at work today.
Are you planning on wandering into construction sites drunk and falling down 6' holes?
probably
Her hotness level dropped from an 8 to a 2 as soon as I walked into her place. It REEKED of cat piss and there was no litter box and NO CATS.
It's official cum is not a great leave in conditioner
i made out with his shirt. MDMA, man.
Oh you know, we just bobbed for apples in a bucket full of jungle juice. So, a casual Tuesday night.
The people at Perkins seem so judgemental. Big deal if i'm handcuffed to stripper in a star-n-stripes bikini. We still gotta eat.
Randomize
