i just made out with my boyfriends father...and so did jess
he wrote Vegans should suck on cow dick on her wall with permanent marker. thats how he got the black eye
My vag should have a twitter account. It would be like "destroyed another condom today".
The boys are giving me the exam answers and I don't even have to expose my body..yayy engineering!
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He suggested abortion before I finished the sentence. That was my plan too, but now I feel like should keep it just to prove how big of a dick he is.
Apparently, I kept going on about how i'm going to name my first born Ramen. I think this is a good parenting move.
She just broke down showed up grabbed a beer said fuck it pulled off her fake eyelashes looked at my roommate and said we need to break up you're a nice guy and I'm a whore
I was too sleepy and drunk to verbally annihilate anyone and ruin their reason for being. So i just opted to sleep with the fitted sheet on the floor
her mom went out of her way to book us a room with separate beds... her level of gay denial is in beast mode
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
My knees are skinned from sitting on someone's face on concrete
YOU JUST GOT OUT OF THE HOSPITAL AND YOU'RE ALREADY DRINKING?!
I'm sure if Robin Williams was still with us he would want you to see boobs.
Apparently i tried to feed this guy's piranhas my whole left arm.. according to him, i was "showing them whos boss, bc if they try to eat my arm, im guna punch their face"
Give me the sexing that I truly desire and I will reveal to you the mysterious location of the PBR's
You ever fart so hard it made you cum a little? A "friend of mine" wanted to know.
Randomize