Don't go all Obama on me. George Bush this decision and just do it. Thinking's for the morning after
For some reason, Oliver from Hannah Montana reminds me of pudding.
That's cute.
I woke up this morning with gum gluing my ass cheeks together..
I can't decide if I actually want to know or not..
I don't think anyone has ever said "boy I'm glad I took those shots of everclear" when they wake up
I wish there were college classes that were useful to your daily life, like how to pack a proper bowl in pitch black darkness.
halloween is SO much better on drugs, why didn't anyone let us know about this when we were kids
You probably don't remember. You were drunk and getting your tits drummed on like haitian bongos in a voodoo ritual.
If you really wanted to hide the fact you were gay, you could have at least had the sense to not get drunk in the same bar as your bf.
My professor just told me I'm living a lie and I found puke on my pants. How do you think it's going?
I better not get a vid of you penile helicoptering
But wait then while giving his drive thru order he goes in mid sentence, "Hey baby it's Travis remember me?"
You think he will forgive me for the paper being a week late if I bring him a beer?
...it's a 9am class...
I SHOULD NOT BE HAVING AN EXISTENTIAL CRISIS OVER PIZZA
Hey, dude, is Kevin still passed out on your porch?
Yeah. I'm gonna go leave a pitcher of bloody mary next to him in case he's still alive.
just walked passed a black light...apparently he DID cum.
Randomize
