I hate u. Im listening to lady gaga and all i can hear is boca base om om om ommmm
i met a boy and i'm in lovvvvveeeeeeee and we're going to vegas and getting marrrrrriiiieeeeedddddd!
let's be honest with each other here, that's about the worst idea you've ever had. you need to walk this one off.
i think i should save myself the $200 for a prom dress. i mean why bother. its just going to be covered in vodka/jizz/and puke by the end of the night.
We could make it a date. Dinner and a show. The show being my nipples getting pierced.
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Does the whole "it was New Years" excuse apply this year?
First coke bust down the road. Spring is finally here.
She kept looking at me and saying "you are the scary high".
Sorry I dragged you across a parking lot
...Just between you and me I just did Olympic grade ribbon dancing with toilet paper in the bar bathroom.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Well, I tried to shit into my refrigerator. It was a rough night.
In the liquor store when a straight girl and a gay guy were just arguing about who hooked up with the same guy first.
You're gonna be sprawled out basking in the sun working on your tan like a ridiculously hot iguana, and I'm gonna be here bundled up in about 72 layers just so I don't freeze my dick off looking like the Michelin man's gay cousin
i apologize, I may have called you an iguana
Mistakes were made
When Dad gets to your house, ask him about the sound of anal beads. Happy Thanksgiving!
Make sure you wash your hands. That seagull you threw was very sick.
Do you knowhow much it sucks to puke in an automatic toilet? Not fun.
Ew.
It takes talent let's just say that
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