kristin has been a bad kristin
last night i got mauled by 2 gay men who were trying to make each other jealous by making the other think they could swing back- you're going to love atl
Words of wisdom-never eat a peanut-butter covered banana on a construction site ever again
watching a depressing episode of spongebob while high is the most depressing thing i have ever experienced
all but 2 of were put on probation for disorderly conduct. i know, visiting a hospital when your drunk is really stupid but it seemed like such a good idea at the time
swear to god, "it seemed like a good idea at the time" is gonna be on your epitaph
His band may suck, but it's not like I'm sleeping with all of them.
peeing on that welcome mat was like, the highlight of my week
And then you guys went on to show us ur sex positions from the before. Thanks
Let me just say....i'm sorry about setting your carpet on fire. I had no idea that the paper towel would burn that quickly.
I just tripped out to the Angel of Music from Phantom of the Opera in my car. Wayyyy to high for shuffle right now.
Sat down on an escalator. That hungover.
HIS TAN HAS PUT ME TO SHAME. HE TOOK HIS PANTS OFF AND HIS DICK LOOKED LIKE A GHOST
I literally just skipped to the fridge when I realized we had enough vodka left to get day drunk
WE JUST PASSED A FUCKING SPACE SHIP! NOT JOKING! A REAL FUCKING SPACE SHIP! THIS IS NOT THE DRUGS! SPACE! SHIP!
Just got an exam care package consisting of only adderall wrapped in money. Score onr for mom.
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