i just walked in on my sister drunkenly sobbing to sarah mclachlan. its time for an intervention.
didn't that happen to you last weekend?
shut up.
My roomate just said the he would "tap dat" to the 13 out of control girl on maury. Im finding a new place in the morning.
I swear it's like I have a jerk off quota I have to meet each week. If I miss three days I have a wet dream and it's like a wasted jizz, and it gets everywhereeeeeee.
all I heard when I woke up this morning was "BONG HITS FOR BREAKFAST" being yelled repeatedly.
So I am just swinging blind here, but I am guessing that blood in your sinus is not ideal
some fat dude with wolverine facial hair just walked out of your room with a snuggie. explanation needed.
If you ever bitch out on 72oz margarita night again, this friendship is over
You know where a good place to spend summer is? In your head. High as shit. It doesn't matter where you are.
Pretty sure my body is in shock, I shouldn't feel this ok after last nite.
I'll be there in spirit. Right there in your vagina.
Lets now bow our heads and think of girls with ex boyfriends who were great at fingering them. That's so sad.
That's why you bone lesbian cage fighters and 45 year olds. To make life less boring.
He walked in wearing nothing but a WWF belt and yelled "THE CHAMP... IS... HEEERE!!!"
Should I tell him how he got the bruise on his ass or just enjoy his theories?
The room got awkwardly silent right as i yelled "leave him alone! I know plenty of straight guys who like to suck dick!"
Randomize
