I'll forget this but out at 4am with a lesbian model at lil waynes bday party for the record
i just remembered that i beat off next to you while we were naked and passed out next to each other after last night... No Homo
If its called oral, why is it so hard to talk?
Just used the D.E.N.N.I.S system successfully.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
dude, I'm listening to "I believe I can fly", i'm high, and driving. this is so amazing.
before tonight, i was terrified of what tequila would make me do. but all it did was make me hook up with a movie star. sooo basically tequila's my new fave
Got a basket, 50 condoms, some candy, 100 plastic eggs & my bunny costume. Campus will feel my wrath in 2 weeks
dude there is absolutely no room for a slide in our room
If I die, I leave all my liquor in my apartment to you. Be a drunk bitch at my funeral. I wouldn't want it any other way.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
In the sauna. Drunk. When I close my eyes I think I'm a dog. Is that wrong?
the boys love us. they call us "the stoner girl suite down the hall". not very inspired, but flattering nonetheless
Bad news. I baked you a cake and one of my fingernails is missing.
he taught all the little kids to ski. it was stupid hot. i'm pretty sure my ovaries exploded.
I'm just now starting to feel better... I remembered sleeping on the floor. I was peeing and saw his rug and it looked so comfy
this is the second day the intern has gotten me coffee. he either wants to bang me or thinks I'm more important than I am.
either way he's in for disappointment
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