You know it's time to leave Spain when you are back and forth between Skype and a Spanish dictionary trying to figure out out to say "I can still smell you on my skin."
tell your sister to shave her snatch
My life is like a Sweet Valley High book but with lots of alcohol.
I wiped a tear off her cheek with my boner. It cheered her up
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
ah, there's nothing like waking up to picture messages of a strange man's cock. life is good.
haha, that's fucked up. flacid cock pictures are the mental breakfast of champions.
It's sad really how 5 am brings with it a distinction from drunken to pathetic.
He ended up walking out of his bedroom and told me to look at the nonexistent fire he was holding in his hand. Im upset I didn't take those shrooms.
I'm just gonna ignore the fact that I have no pants on and find a way home. A good one-nighter never goes back for his pants.
We had sex in the tent after his 6th beer and while we were at it we had conversations with the people outside the tent.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
If it snows I'm just gonna sit at my house in my costume and drink beer by myself all night.
He just tagged everyone he's slept with this year in a 'memories of 2011' tweet
I am so juiced up on period drugs and coffee I feel like my skin is going to fall off.
You were drunk it couldn't have been that bad
I've never been drunk enough to enjoy getting a blister on my dick.
You invented a drink at the bar and named it Boner Soup. It was like an even trashier version of a long island iced tea
This is my second month of college and all I've learned is how to get a guy to go down on me without asking out loud and not to chase everclear with Smirnoff ice.
Essential life skills
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