i wonder what thom yorke's orgasms sound like
dude smells like cheese burgers and loose women...... i want his life
I saw an Asian dude carrying a patchwork denim purse get into a car with two rednecks at the grocery store tonight. Imagine what I could have seen if I had actually done something interesting.
Killed two birds with one stone: found my wallet and unclogged the toilet.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Remind them to make the "above the influence" commercial about us fallin off a ferris wheel
New all-time record for most uncomfortable I've ever been. A midget just asked me to restrap his fanny pack in the bathroom.
he aimed his bare ass at the sparkler, farted, and it really did work...i love 4th of july anal fire works
she kept peeing on everything and yelling it was now her property.
I have too much pride to pick his chest hair out of my mouth again
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You should try cooking mac & cheese naked sometime. It's quite relaxing.
The cute guy in my class hurt himself and is on crutches. My first thought was "Good. He'll be easier to take down." Like he's a gazelle and I'm a dick tiger. What's wrong with me?
I don't remember... but puking on the bar sounds like me.
Also I just had a flash back ... He told me I have nice nipples and then asked me about yours..
I'm not complaining, but why is it that every time I hang out with you I come home with random injuries and random girls?
You would be proud of me, I did not take a dab at work today.
Randomize