Walking by Farrand Field is better than a porno right now.
just tell him i said nine months
stupid gm bankruptcy made me miss the showcase showdown
Those cock suckers. We need to know who's winning the hot tub and the vacation to the alps
Let's play a little game called "Chill the Fuck Out" - you're our first contestant
you were grabbing cocks left and right
you literally grabbed sam's dick and said, "who's cock is this?!"
OK, the bar's closing. Do I go to home to my wife or my girlfriend?
Omg 230 lb butch lesbian with a mustache grabbed my dick. I need an adult
So that's all you want from me. Easy ass.
And an everlasting friendship
If those antibiotics mean you can't drink, ya might as well pack your bags and re-enroll next fall, because sobriety this week would be social suicide.
Drinking Patron always ends with me puking or receiving anal. So make your move when I start ordering it.
Aside from the possibility of pregnancy, I'm going to call last night a raging success.
i need to stop meeting underage girls and letting them into the bar. i mean yea its a surefire way to get laid without having to tell them I'm 26 but i feel like as a bouncer I'm focusing on all the wrong things
Fuck that, come home. Let's get drunk and judge people.
I just spilled a shot of Patron on your mom.. Body shots may be happening. You better get here quick.
Think of the things uve done in the past. And ask urself "have I done worse?" If u answer yes. Its perfectly ok.
Randomize
