1:32a: I quit. signing up for eharmony. Don't judge
bathroom sex at kohls isnt as trashy as it seems
Now would be a great time to stop wondering " Who let the dogs out" and go to sleep
I don't know where I am but there are firefighters
They're making scrambled eggs at 2 in the morning... with rum
Were you really trying to feed me potato chips while I was sitting on the toilet?
I felt like a dog for all the times during sex that he said "good girl"
Also, just almost microwaved cereal. Thank god mom is here to stop me.
Most of the bar is playing trivia I'm playing destroy a relationship in twenty questions
I never should have let my cousin and his pregnant girlfriend move in with me. I'm never having sex again. They scare off men more than 'my dream wedding' pin board.
New wedding record, my shirt was off by 8pm!!!
Getting stoned and sitting front row in a legal class.. Not my best idea
What kind of life do I lead that no one is surprised by the fact that I was watching porn at work with the hot 37 year old?
I know I drink too much cuz "ssssjllapph peneinssesss" automatically comes up in my phone now.
I'll be naked. By 11. Then arrested. Drunk tank adventures
Randomize
