She asked the class if starwars was based on a true story...
winter break is gonna be like a weird mixture of rehab fat camp and holiday cheer.
he refused to get me toilet paper before we started drinking so I keep wiping with his towel.
i dont understand why you dont get why i love him. i opened the bathroom door and he had his penis in his right hand and a mcdouble in his left.
I really am. The stoner chick wants to get a python.
She's just done the monthly not prego dance around our kitchen
You peed on someones bathroom floor while saying people are rude for not flushing
I walked in her room to find her rubbing lotion on her face high as fuck.
Seriously? You DON'T remember putting all those Swedish fish in the waffle iron b/c you wanted "One big Swedish fish?" That waffle iron was a wedding gift.
I just accidentally showed an old lady a pic of my penis while showing her cat pics. So how's your day going?
if i seriously got my dick up last night, then im taking him to disney world cause thats just fuckin impressive
God specifically crafted these hands to deal out orgasms.
how soon in a friendship can you start calling them a motherfucker
I just put condoms in a mason jar because it looked prettier than the box.I think I've peaked.
It is like...the most transformative hard on I have ever had.
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