I just watched a guy get turned down by a prostitute
I'm in a strip club that reminds me of a crack house from the 80's.
Bar. Show boob. Just one. Free drinks. Instant friends
Guys only need one. Little known secret. You're welcome.
When you're about to leave, tell him "bye." At that point, he should say something. If he doesn't say anything, well, our drinks were free and he gets a free make out with yours truly.
I just found out why they dont make table-dance tables out of glass.
That shit is worth it...they got medicine for that now a days
I hate it when she philosophizes drunkenly on my kitchen counter. not even sober do i understand latin.
pre-gaming in the library. just gonna keep going until i'm too drunk to keep working and then i'll be there.
there are ass prints on the hood of my car.
I just tipped the cab driver with pistachio nuts. And he loved it.
he said he did everything he could to puke on his nurses because they were doing everything wrong
Thats admirable.
I want to fuck the side burns off of Steve.
I feel horrible. I brought her to your house like a late night pizza delivery and dropped her off.
I woke up with a cutting board and a bag of uncooked pasta next to me.
Let's get drunk and take out your tonsils tonight
Randomize
