Don't make out with my wife yet
I'm always impressed by your drunken ability to quickly gauge how long it's been since you've shaved and whether or not your prospective hook up will care.
I just texted him to come over because I want to see if his hand fits the handprint bruise on my ass.....I feel like the cinderella of S&M
What I dont get, is for a man with a penis his size, to choose to go back with another girl instead of one that he says is the best sex he's ever had. He cant afford to be picky.
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She went home with him because he works at Jimmy John's and his car "smelled like meat"
YOU RECOMMENDED ME TO THIS GIRL BECAUSE SHES A STRIPPER AND YOU KNOW MY WEAKNESS FOR STRIPPERS WITH CHILDREN.
Taking a semester off always leads to bad things like having a baby or getting married
Oh my god. He likes it up the butt. But loves womanly support. Omg. Its bad. Its bad. Ive had too much whiskey for this to be ANYthing except bad.
Any man who has a face like that and a bike, deserves a vagina like yours permanently.
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Grass is always greener, Allison, grass is always greener
The grass is drunker and I'm lying down on it
I am going to MURDER whoever gave him my phone number but it was probably drunk me so I'm conflicted.
So much Jack, so little girl.
The dick lei will go down in squad history
Well, I got drunk and told my family about what I expected sexually after a good first date.
he went down on me and a few minutes later he asked to show me a magic trick. then he pulled a quarter out of my vagina
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