Dude, just walked by a homeless guy pissing on the sidewalk while he was screaming at his wang. God, I love this city.
He looks like Spencer from the game Dreamphone
i just looked up and i was like omg ballsack and then i didnt know what to do
Talking to this girl is like playing minesweeper on hard. There's red flags everywhere.
Had a drag queen carry me to the car. So I'm told...
Wise words from the guy who drunkenly chipped his teeth on the sidewalk
Crosswalk actually
hey, this is the ginger girl from the party...i've thought about it and I wanna join the american girl drinking team
The highlight of my night was definitely explaining the bandaid on my nipple.
New low, passed out while taking a shit for an hour with my parents home, suprised they didnt notice
I'm sorry. I just realized our 'big night out' ended up being you driving my high ass to get burritos and back.
His flight is delayed. Mother Nature is delaying me from sex.
FUCK YOU AND YOUR WEAK ASS EYEBROWS
just passed my midterm while getting a blow job. i love going to school online
Celebrated Veteran's Day by getting a Marine (who just got back from deployment in the middle east) drunk and laid for the first time in 6 months. #Murica
She said to call her, so I called her. Her boyfriend answered and traced the fucking call. I could litterally hear him yell because it turns out he lives in 4d
Don't you live in 4c?
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