My parents came down to check and make sure I wasn't into any mischief then proceeded to give me alcohol.
i recognized the place by the puke stain i left on the pool table when i hooked up with his roommate.
After all you put him through, I think it was only right that you saluted the bartender when you left.
PS August 29 of last year was when you ran over my foot. Facebook just reminded me.
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The assistant vp has a bottle of wine on his desk & I have a feeling my boobs will be making an appearance today.
Did i mention i'm like the equivilent of a prepubescent boy suffering from preejaculacy? I just about creamed my pants when he grabbed my hand..
bah. we'll see. don't give yourself a boner of false hope.
That girl is nothing but trouble. She's 40% red hair and 60% daddy issues.
You could become Eskimo brothers with my dad. How can you pass that up? You pussy.
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He paid the bartender with money from the tip jar then proceeded to hit on me in front of my date. I love frat dances
He's probably the biggest I've seen outside of the porn I vehemently deny watching and he asks if I think he's too small
my vagina is like this close to growling at me and leading me onto the nearest dance floor
make it buy you a drink first
I went in for a high five.. He went in for a kiss.. Today is a good day
On a scale of 0 to Thanksgiving, there is no amount of food that fights against tequila.
I'm going to go ahead and refrain from sexting you in an airport that is currently at a "level orange" security threat.
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