i want to be waterboarded, just to see what all the fuss is about
I just googled "whats above a trillion", thats how busy I am at work.
i asked him to tell me something nice and he said "your vagina is really tight."
bring the vodka.
i thought we were going to mcdonalds..?
we are.
Nothing on google about my condom issue. However, if you get a chance google: condom with teeth.
i watched you ride a mechanical penis. nothing is awkward between us anymore.
judging from the lines on my body they wheeled me back in a shopping cart
I gotta bail on the cookout tonight. Im at the er getting stitches. Re-enacting porno went horribly wrong.
Oh, and she's that dumb bitch that goes out in public in full make up and sweats with uggs. I hope she falls face first in a bowl of queso and drowns
Do you think I shall pursue this journey to the center if the dick?
I had a dream I gave a blow job to a guy whose dick forked off into two. I'm going to spend the rest of my life confused.
CODE RED CODE RED MY VIBRATOR IS BROKEN THIS IS NOT A DRILL
I'm now at a gay bar with our relatives
Do you think it would be weird to wear a shirt that says 'big fun small package' from an ex for a first date?
If hypothetically I needed to puke on the bus... how would I go about doing this.
Randomize
