Things on my life to do list: hold a pound of marijuana. Check.
I tried to tell him it was only 2:00, but he said since it was 5:00 in New York, it was perfectly acceptable. He then put on a Blues Brothers hat and a pair of wayfarers and left. I expect him home in a few hours with a police escort.
we made a giant pot of alcholic jello. i filled a gallon bag and brought it to dorms. desk guy gave me weird looks, he doesnt realize this is how i will pass all of my room searches
Got home. Hugged Mom. The look on her face indicated she noticed nipple rings.
Don't do anything you wouldn't want to explain to paramedics
But that's half the fun of it
I'm studying for my midterm by watching porn with Spanish subtitles. Surprisingly the words are still really distracting..
Concert was great. Tackled the lead singer. Met him afterwards. He was cool about it.
I woke up to 76 pages of e's, r's, d's, and f's from when I fell asleep for 3 hours on my laptop keyboard trying to write that paper.
It's amazing where one well timed dick pic can get you in life.
i feel like when you brought up the possibility of you getting pregnant the sexting is over
dave might be using McDoubles to pay for dances
he has gotten at least 7 lap dances out back
I don't blame you. I made YouTube videos of me singing Rent songs then slept with a married couple. Fucking tequila.
I just bought sparkling water with plan B. I am the most basic bitch to ever exist.
he tied his pants around my leg to stop the bleeding... i think he just wanted a good excuse to take his pants off
well did it work?
it was a success in both ways.
I regret nothing
Not even Married Dan?
I regret one thing
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