For some reason, my father is not responding to the 5 texts I sent him that all read: "Dad dad dad dad dad dddaadd dddddaaaaaaaaad dad".
pretty sure i saw you masturbating on chatroulette a minute ago. yes, i can recognize your cock
I THOUGHT I SAW YOU
its family weekend so i'm givin my little bro a tour of everywhere ive thrown up on campus
i drank out of my shoe...were you seriously expecting me to be the voice of reason?
I actually had fun getting arrested. That high.
Me+graduation party+hammered drunk+polish horseshoes in the dark= black eye, crying, pissed, passed out in my dress... How was your weekend?
we need to find an occasion to wear tutus
Watch out, there's a giant vagina in the quad running around screaming at people.
If you need to be the damsel in drunken distress make sure it's before 3.
I swear man, you fly across the country to give a boy your virginity and he suddenly thinks you like him
He fed me Girl Scout cookies while I was still tied up...what did I do right?
holy shit the yoga instructor bought his baby pig to class today
I have photo proof.
Girl, don't care. What's my rule? If I don't remember it, it never happened.
Come get your boyfriend. He is hammered talking to me about hot dogs and casinos.
they just got in argument over who had more of your dick pics. quit sending shit to my sisters fucker
Randomize
