He had some BAD nuttage
Nuttage?
It's like cleavage......... but different
There comes a time in every man's life where he has to shit in a catbox to prove a point.
don't look now, but that cross eyed girl is staring at you... and me.
mike has just informed me of all the things he would put in his pussy if he was a woman. this includes door stops, power drills & g.i. joes.
"and then my dad would be all like 'hey mike, where's the remote?'"
So...i'm having a drinking contest, my right hand vs my left, i have a feeling the 24 pack is gonna win
I knew her barely 30 minutes before we got naked. This whole fraternity thing is starting to grow on me...
I'm thinking he has to buy me dinner at least twice before i even start considering casting him for "Fuck buddy - understudy."
You were so calm and collected as you strolled out the door with 40 mcdonalds cups in your arms. It was legendary.
My saliva right now is around 7.6% alcohol/volume.
Is it a bad thing that I've made out with everybody I work with?
Just got a ride from a stranger while walking a mile home as it hailed with no coat. He asked me if I smoked, then said he just made some potent cookies and I could have one.
The cookie was what I originally wanted to tell you. Always say yes to drugs from strangers
ITS THE FIRST FRIDAY NIGJT AFTER MOVING IN WITH THE NEW ROOMIE AND I ACTUALLY JIST RIPPED MY TAMPON OUT AND THREW IT IN THE NEIGHBORS YARD WERE GOINF ON THE BOAT AND SLEPEING IN HIS AMBULANCE GOODNIGHT
then a garbage truck rolls up to the club, they hop out, and walk right in like they own the place
I described my life as a 7 layer cake of death
part of it says your brother mayyyy have put his lips on my vagina
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