I fink we're distracting them from bumping the proverbial uglies
My stomach is making the worst sounds, probably because there is nothing but semen in it.
possible father of this baby just finished his test first in a lecture of 200 people. other possible father finished about 100th.
I'm rooting for #1.
Great. My funeral dress now smells of smoke and disappointing sex.
Not only is it unacceptable to be bar hopping alone at 5 o'clock. It is definitely unacceptable to do so with a lobster
somedays, I wish the drugs you give me would convince me they were a bad idea preingestion.
where's the fun in that?
After the Patriots lost I punched him in the face. But I still feel like that isn't a good reason to dump me.
I don't know what to say to that. All I know is my vagina is trying to jump through the phone.
On a completely unrelated note I think I have carpal tunnel
Again, totally unrelated
We learned many a lesson today about drug use in canoes
You are free to stop by. I promise to keep my penis in my leather pants
6 showers laters and I still feel like I have his vomit in my vagina. At least I could help him figure out he's gay.
We found you in the bathroom at 1AM throwing money into the toilet making wishes. That drunk.
.... Seriously?
He has a syndrome called asshole. And it flares up 24/7.
oh what is to come when my single life starts with a threesome?
Randomize
