My mouth tastes like defeat. Did he at least have money?
bella threw up all over the kitchen floor then looked at me, laughed, and walked away
isn't bella the cat???
that she is
Any toy can be an adult toy. Location, location, location.
Is making out on a toilet while he is sitting down and pissing weird? cause that's what happened last night
I'm bakin' bread in my pussy!
What?
I have a yeast infection.
drunk sex in a shower = bad idea broken arm
i don't know what happened by from the looks of her lipstick I'd say she was skull fucked by a rhino
Cuz its complicated and I hate complicated and I miss your penis
I opened my door to find him standing there with vodka, McDonalds, a smile and a hard-on. Of course I let him in.
I am incapable of maintaining a guy's interest in me. It's like erectile dysfunction but with feelings
ask me again when I'm sobewr aka tuesday
I was just the victim of a drive by judging in a horse and buggy.
The fuck? Where?
St. Mary's. Amish people. Too high for this.
I'm still depressed that I forgot my ice cream at your place
I have drunkenly angered a family of raccoons. Please send help immediately.
When I walked out of the bathroom and you were literally dancing, you looked at me and said 'this is how I dance'. And then continued.
Randomize
