hey what are you doing
hooking up with some marlborough girl. shes gorgeous!
i texted you because i like you, and i told my freinds you were my fiance. but sine we're not dating you're not cheating and i'm pathetic
Yep. About to get on pornhub to spill some Christmas cheer
Her vagina smelled like chicken
why do you say that
chicken smells like everything
i've decided to use this saturday afternoon to take care of my pube situation
I wish I could save this moment forever and have sex with it regularly. Its just tht beautiful.
She tased me when I walked in the door. Thought I was trying to steel her weed.
In hindsight buying the pill crusher with my vicodin prescription might have been too much.
Im doing shots of vodka in the bathroom covered in pillows.
Tornado warnings are fun!
This whole situation could've been avoided if you would've just let me open the beer
Things I have that belong to you: shorts, headband, bra, purse, chinese food, vodka, and blood on my jeans. Happy homecoming.
also, just kill me. literally hit me with a vehicle, or an aircraft, something that will ultimately make me forget tonight.
Dude, she sent me a nude of her posing in the mirror and her dad was in the reflection
I bought everclear. Bring your party pants and some addies
You're not gonna punch me in the face again are you?
mid-october of freshman year. goals have shifted from "no more guys on my floor" to "all the guys on my floor."
New guy moved in the apartment next door. He's a combat vet, 6'4", Adonis body and going to med school. My vagina is chewing thru the wall as we speak.
Randomize
