im going to have to ask you to stop vomiting stars, rainbows, and butterflies all over your facebook statuses...
So this text is costing me two dollars because I'm out of the country, but I just wanted to let you know it went well with the stripper last night
theyre selling pepper spray in the courtyard. hellooo atl
so exactly how many freshman chicks did i tell to call me "the tripod"?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
when "blow-job jen" drunk dials you at 3 in the morning, you answer
After 12 shots he decided to show us knife tricks. You can figure out how it ended
i woke up to the sound of my roommate climbing onto my desk mumbling that she was going to bed
Vodka @ 9pm. Library. Nothing can go wrong, I promise.
No you usually just ranted about the voicemail bitch until she cut you off again
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You threw a shot glass at the bartender and still managed to convince him to let us drink more. You are my hero.
Had to snap chat three different people to ask who left the bite mark on my thigh. All three said "Wasn't me". Now I can't wear a bathing suit to my mom's pool.
We've been staking out a taco bell for 2 hours trying to find last night's one night stand
Yup, found the vomit in the side compartment. My bad.
I asked him if we were going to get arrested for doing it in the bar parking lot. "Absolutly not" said the guy getting the blow job...
The guy I made out with the other night fed me chipotle favored funions and I thought it was true love when I was drunk.
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