It is pretty awful out and I still haven't put on pants yet.
found: crazy homeless guy quoting Quagmire lines to every chick he sees. i think i win the scavenger hunt.
I tried to go shot for shot with some guy called "shit show martinez"
we just made rock paper scissors into a drinking game
Is she bent over a couch yet or did daylight savings time throw off her usual schedule?
He tricked me...the first song on his sex mix was trey songz but the rest were techno....i can't walk straight now
im still trying to figure out who put the honey mustard in the blender then put the entire blender into the freezer
I just threw up on the floor. And we're gonna fuck on the beer pong table, so keep everyone upstairs.
So I had a crappy evening so the fat girl in me says eat and cry and watch something sad. The cool girl in me says don't eat go run. So I'm watching family guy and doing crunches w a pickle in my mouth
Gross
AN ACTUAL PICKLE
Just got a message on OkCupid from a 20-year-old who has "Momma's Boy" tattoed across his chest and thinks the earth is bigger than the sun.
Is it weird that the girl he dated after me had a child with him and it has my name? I think it means he's not over me. Or I'm really self absorbed...
No offense, I mean I'm sure you rocked my world and all but I don't remember.
I bought left over pizza from a guy on Craigslist.
if i get arrested im counting on you to get a picture of it
I have all the porn. Be there soon
Who is this?
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