billy ray cyrus is narrating a show on the history channel. my iq cant decide whether to go up or down.
We were naked in his bed when he asked me "what should we do?"
I need a legitimate reason as to why the microwave door is in the shower
Just hooked up with a girl I met in line at Taco Bell. I told you leave me to do my own thing and I'll get it in
Plus you know he's just 2 semesters and 4 glasses of wine away from "experimenting" with some French major
I had a dream she was puking on me, but sadly in real life she was puking on me too
by the end of the night two people were passed out at the table, three on the couches, and one in the bathroom. it looked like someone pumped sleeping gas into the middle of a dinner party.
No, this is a senior booty call. It cannot be ignored.
It's like you're the one guy who got the "girls have clits" memo.
I'm unsure as to how you were able to snapchat me with your hands duck taped to beer, but I appreciated it nonetheless.
No she probably looked into my aura and saw that my penis would ruin her.
Can I get that on a shirt
The name of the man in your bed is not Ryan. I can't remember what his name is but that is wrong
Like, defending PBR and Bio Dome consumes a lot of my time.
I feel worse lying to the guy I hooked up with than I actually do for cheating on my bf
She was going down on me before I had a chance to tell her I arrested her brother 3 hours earlier
Randomize
