remember when u banged some random dude twice in the back restaurant room of the bar i work at with customers still there? and woke up with an enormous highschool-sized hickey this morning? no big deal.
he called me a worthless slut and then went 2 the bathroom 2 pee on the floor before leavin. but he was really hot and he left his jacket, should i call him?
After I tried for five minutes to hang my beer from the coat hanger in the bathroom , I have realized I am drunk
Just saw remains of her puke from last night on my pants.... thats got "Apology BJ" written all over it.
You probably havent been upstairs if you think that the microwave missing its door is bad
I would say a second date is not looking likely, I acciedentally bit his penis. it's still bleeding 43 minutes later.
Honestly I'm not even that excited to see my boyfriend. I'm more excited to see his penis. His penis inside of me.
My Wonder Woman lingerie has been defiled by man. I'm a horrible Amazon.
I don't know what his name was or what he looked like, but I remember him rocking me to sleep with his cock
Drunk me has cost me a lot in cell phones...
I don't even have his number. I have his pants tho
You grabbed my shirt and said, "hope you're not attached" and ripped it off before I could answer you.
At one point my little brother was Rocky Balboa'd by a stripper's tit
Am I getting cock blocked by karaoke? That's a first.
You were in no condition to manage a 3-way.
Randomize
