you don't seem to understand just how much pasta i spilled on my bed last night.
Welll when you have a beer at 8:30 am you've already decided whaat kind of Sunday it ism
Is there a reason why the cops knew her name as they were chasing her?
doing laundry. just found my fishnets from Friday. the ENTIRE crotch is torn out. guess that answers the "did we have sex in the cab" question.....
Blacked out, Had to be carried out of the bar again by two large black bouncers. Asked them to be my "boo thangz" Again.
I'm a gay man planning my brothers bachelor party, and he choose someone else to be his best man. I hope they like appltinis and gay clubs. Bastard.
Every grown women needs to pee herself once in her life. It builds character.
Come to wine Wednesday bro. We have a fog machine
foreskin is a definite game changer
What part of don't open in front of your kids didn't you understand? Astroglide, magnums, fuzzy handcuffs and a blindfold are going to be hard to explain as friends presents.
I'll be the Broncos and you be the Seahawks and you can pound the shit out of me.
So, my love of dick may have landed me in a cult. On the bright side, I now have a discount at Spencer's.
Sorry my phone died because I decided charging my vibrator was way more important
If I'm legally allowed to go to jail than I should legally be allowed to tell a cop to fuck off. Basic principles.
Yea, but did you really have to throw a sandwich at him??
I honestly have no desire to wear clothes around you
I have that affect on people
Randomize
