I dont understand how a fully grown man could convince himself that lime green crocks would look good on him.
as veruca salt said, "i want it now!"
uhh im not your indulgent father, stoned and im in the middle of making tacos. right now, tacos win
Please return the baby Jesus and sheep to the quad
what part of "i slept with our hot teacher" are you not excited about?!
the part where you beat me to him
fair enough.
There's a mirror laying face down next to me. A looooong full body mirror. By the looks of it it fell off the wall last night and was within centimeters of shattering on my head. Awesome.
Will you come get her? She's trying to get the pizza guy into the bathtub.
I brought his matress to the living room we're laying on it listening to rick james drinking vodka
you kept looking at stripers and saying " Go to College"
I would fuck him In a heartbeat, an obese child running up stairs with an irregular heartbeat, heartbeat.
Well watching will be involved...it'll just most likely be of me licking your penis instead of me trying to understand how Hans Solo goes up against the Galactic Empire...
I think my dove chocolate wrapper just told me to masturbate.
If last night was a preview of 2015, I quit.
So will your sis find it a compliment if I tell her I lost out on some awesome dick to go to her bday dinner???
Slammed 3 beers and just bowled a 129\nI guess alcohol IS the answer
OH GOD IT TASTES LIKE IT SMELLS
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