dude my little brother busts into my room last night and yells did you know that grandma is hiding scrambled eggs between her legs
he sent me a naked picture of himself. things got awkward really quickly. but on a positive note he shaved his chest
the lady in the checkout infront of me had a case of beer, two 40 oz, and activia...really??i dont' think irregularity is her problem
she had no gag reflex. and is an abercrombie model. i love college.
I swear if his heart was half the size of the cum stains he's left on my sheets we would have the perfect relationship
If you would give me the chance we might have the two separate pieces of the greatest fuck puzzle ever.
Breakfast tacos?
YOU ARE A FOUNTAIN OF GREAT IDEAS
I have grass duct taped all over my body
Well at least the house will be decorated when u get evicted.
You told us that you don't have to wait in line at Taco Bell. Then, drove up to the window and grabbed someone else's food.
How the fuck does a person bruise an armpit? I swear to god, I get the lamest drunk injuries.
This is like the first time all week I've properly taken my birth control. My ovaries are so stoked I just know it.
I'm having a hard time eating my sandwich knowing how many different buttholes my hands were in last night.
remember when we said that thing when we met about how we were each glad we weren’t furries
ok listen,
Soooo, hypothetically, how long would roommates have to sleep together before its considered dating...
Randomize
