She goes outside, smokes 2 cigarettes, and insists on walking up the 7 flights of stairs so that her heart stays in shape. this woman is crazy.
it got awkward when the only couple not hooking up was just watching..
I feel bad for the next person that's gonna live in my room. There's so much semen on the carpet
Dude that bathroom stall was not tall enough to be doing lines in, guys kept peeking over and giving us high fives
I assume it was your influence that had me go from DD to waking up out on the deck with one eyebrow shaved off??
Recycling day makes me feel more like an alcoholic than regular days.
He stumbled out of the bar bathroom at 3:30 am with his jeans unzipped and his dick hanging out - it was the physical manifestation of "blackout with your cock out"
My hair is crimped, I am walking with a roadie, and my vibrator is in my purse. I feel sorry for tomorrow.
cops woke me up on the sidewalk and asked where my shoes are.. fuck if i know, im sleeping on the sidewalk! actually i didnt say that, i just cried until they gave me a ride home.
There is an alarming amount of food in my bra.
I just puked in my courtyard and dripped toothpaste in my chest hair. You better be getting laid or this drunk is wasted.
I've been watching porn with my cat lately. No shame
Should I go bust a nut on the beach
Had to admit my broken elbow was caused by vodka, not hockey
My life is a random series of events connected only by bottles of Seagram's 7
Randomize
