i had the deer in headlights look when she walked in and i was digging in her hamper
so tomorrow. i'm thinking coinstar then adderall?
I don't wanna hook up with anyone from minnesota
everybody there reminds me of mashed potatoes... white and lumpy
He keeps saying he loves me and ruining perfectly good conversations.
I need to stop hooking up with boys in my major. three boys in one class is just a litttle too awkward.
apparently when the FedEx truck drove by, we tried to chase it down thinking they were delievering a 30 pack...great night.
You told me you were allowed to keep eating butter because it had just passed midnight and you were on the next day's daily fat servings
she has a picture of her daughter riding a giant rooster.. of course i want to make obscene cock jokes
Just took the worst coed shower ever. We both cried. AND I only shaved one leg.
See what happens chris. I told u not to invite her over. Now shes on her way to jail and were stuck with two pomeranians.
I think they make you graduate because you get too old to go hard and become a risk. homecoming weekend wins again. fuck.
You know you are high when you are so glad it wasn't your freshly buttered raisin bread that fell on your foot. It was your $400 Ipod
He bought me shrimp and alcohol and referred to himself as daddy. I am in love.
Secrets from the porn industry: liTERALLY SHOVE A SEA SPONGE UP YOUR VAGINA GO ON DO IT
He dicked me, fed me creme brulee, and didn’t make a big deal out of me causing a flood to come outta my vagina
Marry him NOW
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