And I was the only one who felt it was dangerous to set the tv and blender on the ledge of the hot tub
So much for not drinking this week after this weekend.. Congratulations. U made it until tuesday.
I mean, I'm twenty four years old and I've never paid for my own drink. You can't say that any of your ex girlfriends boobs are THAT great.
I asked if he wants to help me spring forward at 2am on Sunday. He seems down.
I'm eating cheerios out of the palm of my hand while I pee with the door open. Is this adulthood?
One time she made a chronological chart for the guys she has given blow jobs to, I shit you not.
if all that ever happens for the rest of forever is drinking wine and eating popcorn, ill be okay
Jk. Anyone who everbeers with me is my type.
If my penis could make facial expressions, it would constantly have a smile on.
And he came by and picked me up. We cuddled in his car then had sex until... an officer doing his rounds put a spotlight on crazy haired, naked me straddling him.
Like he was inside me when I made eye contact with a police man.
I hid a TracFone in her bra. We'll find her tomorrow.
I'm pretty sure my munchies are the only reason Good and Plenty is still around
Remember when we made out in a Chik-Fil-A drive thru?
Its like the floor is slow but life is fast?
I see you found the nyquil...
Only thing I have going for me is jacking off, weed, and saturdays
Randomize
