She punched me in the face after i pulled it out and grabbed my cell phone. Ill be the one hiding in the bushes with one shoe.
I was making out with him, and then his friend randomly took off my pants and started going down on me. My first semi-threesome was a success.
it's like my freshman wet dream come true
You're fucking beautiful as shit and we should have loving sex...
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The problem is drunk me is completely unaware how poor I am
I'm watching my cat lick a used condom wrapper on my nightstand and I'm too hungover to move and do anything about it. Tequila Tuesdays can not be a thing.
We went to Denny's and he threatened to fight an entire high school track team by himself
okay - we take $20 and buy each other some 'drink till we puke' clothes from the thrift store.
You're asking your pregnant booty call to go to a funeral with you?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
On celebration of the Supreme Court ruling I feel it is our patriotic duty to have a threesome
i was on the fire escape while he ate me out for a while before i realized he had shut the door behind us and locked us out and i proceeded to climb down the stairs and climb back into the party through the window.
i can only hope to be on your level one day.
someday i'll meet a woman who will love me for my marvelous breasts and ignore my many character faults.
I wish more of my problems were easily solvable by taking a good long shit.
I just wanna be naked and go frolic in the snow
It was just a hint of nipple. I kept it classy!
Do you even hear yourself?
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