Apparently they shut down a cook out cause people were selling drugsout the drive thru. Nice to be home
I just tried to put my feet in my slippers and found cans of beer in them. Christmas in fucking july.
Don't be a dummy cum on the tummy. Make her a slut, and cum in her butt. Have no fear, jizz in her ear. Don't be a noob, cum on her boob. Forget her rack, blow on her back. Just take off your coat and jizz in her throat. And if she seals off her holes, cum in her rolls
is that a poem?!
trsut me youll find me, im the only kanye west here and every1 is chanting dbag at me
just saw the guy i hooked up with last nights' face on a billboard. win.
Also, do you think you think his dick is perfect bc you loved him? Or is it actually perfect?
Best dream ever last night. You moved here. Your Spanish name meant highway. Your favorite food was styrofoam.
I just passed a truck with its bed lined with a tarp and filled with water with six dudes chilling in the back driving through campus. That looks fun.
drunk freshman in the bathroom puking keeps saying "i'm a peasant" over and over
I did a kegel this morning to determine if I had been penetrated during last night's blackout. Nope.
you started shaking the frozen steak while screaming "THIS IS CAPITALISM" before rubbing it all over your chest and passing out on your dog
Worse. He's Mormon. At least a gay guy will go get drinks with me.
I promise not to pretend to be Jesus and take the wheel. But to my credit you shouldn't be saying that while I'm that drunk and we are in a car.
chasing tequila with frosting. best baby shower ever.
Went to my bottom drawer for my stash , gone just a note says thanks sucker love dad
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