Remember that sex scene from American Psycho?
Ya, why?
We should try that some time.
dude, the building's fire alarm was going off for over an hour last night and you didn't move
that's ok, when I'm passed out drunk I'm impervious to flame
you'd be confused too if you woke up to pictures of a ghostbuster doing body shots off you.
You asked the waitress for a vasectomy and handed her a butter knife, like you were ordering something from the menu
lets make a pact to never make a pregnancy pact
we were wasted and he didn't have a condom so he called the front desk and asked for one. They didn't "officially" have them but the night manager happened to have one in his wallet. He brought it to the room with two mints.
Im about to have a threesome, Ill pay you twenty bucks to go clean my room. Just throw it all in the closet.
I mean you were pretty drunk at one point you asked if we could have a glass of water ready for you in case you choked while bobbing for apples, but you said grape juice was preferable. You can't choke on an apple btw
Is it possibile to sprain your taint?
She was that bad?
Also they do not have any come back to america, i miss my fuck buddy cards at Hallmark.
I feel like there's no sexy way to pull 12 condoms out of your bra.
I feel like every man should aspire to get a blowjob from a sword swallower.
Just got stuck in an elevator on campus with a ton of British guys. My pants almost pulled themselves down.
Tell me not to drink and get on ladders. I think I need the reminder.. I'm clumsy enough sober.
Sorry for not calling you back. I got drunk and passed out on the kitchen floor. I just found my phone in the shower.
Randomize
