My pee smelled like sake this morning it was sooo disgusting.
For the record dan just proved he knows the first and last names of ALL the members of NSync. Jury is no longer out on his sexuality.
The verizon commercial has a magical pinata. Candy just keeps coming out. It must be a portal to a candy universe.
the fair has chocolate covered bacon...impossible is nothing.
she's got a whisker from her dead cat taped to the wall. I'm pretty sure that about sums it up...
I just sneezed and had an orgasam..THAT turned on
I negotiated the purchase of an entire tray of like 50 jello shots for $8.
I was sleeping on the bathroom floor and thought a wet towel might keep me warm.
he got everyone in a room, turned off the lights and started throwing knives at the wall. if you got hit, you had to drink...
I just bought $54 in Easter crap to try and blend in the pregnancy test... And FYI, it totally worked.
Dude you went around coming up behind people and whispering in their ears. I dont know what you said but they looked terrified when you left.
I don't remember where I was but I remembered that I hated everyone there
I fucking hate tequila. Tequila makes me hate pants.
I thought I was bad, the girl next to me on the bench was feeding a bush a hamburger and introduced me. Only at lollapalooza.
someone snapchatted me a porn of two guys dressed up as pterodactyls double teaming a girl
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