Swine flu. Run for my life!
In honor of tonight, my penis will make an appearance
last night you decided it was time to "get organized" and "straighten out your life." You pulled out a bag of troll dolls, sorted through them and got nostalgic. You demanded both andy and i take one and keep it forever.
Girl passed out in class and vomited. Another victim of syllabus week
It's a lightpost hitting you in the head. Of course it's going to hurt the day after.
The problem with Wednesday evening drinking is that no gets to my level. It's like like a one man party. But it's a goood party.
After a long night of drunk sexting I have to the ninja roll at the front door to see who showed up.
I wouldn't be too worried. He's been known to chase a chubby before.
THAT IS NOT HOW YOU TALK TO YOUR SISTER
I think I may have just taught my whole hall how to give a good blow job. So this is college.
As long as he continues to be our subleaser and continues to fuck me, I think it's acceptable for me to steal a piece of bread here and there.
In the morning when you read your texts, just fyi you showed up at my house drunk off your ass and shoe less and demanded I go to the bar. You need Jesus.
Happy 4 year arrest-aversary! I promise no thanksgiving has been as eventful as that one haha..
Like I’ve seen him completely trashed and I’ve also seen him rip shirtsleeves off with his teeth and I can’t tell if I’m intrigued or not
Masturbated while waiting for my face mask to dry, so it was a productive night.
Do you think the hole in the ceiling will count against our security deposit?
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