Now hope fervently that she'll do it quick and cheap, just the way i like it
we ended up doing shots out of those medicine cups..swine flu finally did something good for me
as my niece was drinking milk out of a crown royal glass i realized i dont think i've ever bought a glass that didnt come with a bottle of liquor....
you were passed out in your cheese fries by the time he brought out your second order of french toast.
Babe. You eat pussy like a god warrior sent from a galaxy far far away to destroy female genitalia with new realms of pleasure. That's how I know your not gay.
the remote is under the fat chick passed out on the couch. Good luck .. and may god have mercy on your soul.
you are never too drunk for berry picking
Why is there ANOTHER stolen fire extinguisher in my room? You know that's a felony right...
The inflatable penis from those pics was mine... We broke him that night
mom had to come pick me up from the hotel. I crawled to her car. She told me the entire way home if I puked in it I was going to lick it up. Like high school all over again...
they saw the dick pic he sent and started calling him 'subway'
Yo making cake in the shape of a penis is no easy feat
Sorry I called bc I needed help peeing outside
But I did it
Sitting in my junior high parking lot high on ambien talking to a stranger I met on tinder. What is life?
what do u think we would be doing right now if we were together
Urinating on unicorns
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