It was like the Ritz Carlton of jails. I got introduced to our criminal system the right way.
The difference between what I would do for a regular Klondike bar and an Oreo flavored Klondike bar is astounding
She said that I needed to "pregame her so it can slip right in."
Teasing with taco bell is not funny. High or sober.
WHY does every guy I sleep with want to fix my car?!
Worst luck of my entire life. Came in my own mouth
After my date left I rallied and took the Asian girl home. Flexibility my friend.
I hate having to put a bra on before I go home cuz I have to pretend I actually went to class today
I rocked my own world, he was just a prop.
Came so hard my ears popped. This lovely piece of news and pissin in my driveway brought to you by rum
She knew the head wasn't all that so she gave me her taco. I'm will in to give her a second chance.
What's the polite way to tell someone she's a grown ass woman and she needs to start acting like it.
There's a rash on my genitals that would like a word with you.
she broke the sink..i repeat the sink is off the wall. send help
Actually, my eyes didn't start bleeding until the next day. So it was a pretty awesome night overall.
Randomize
