standing in line at subway, they've got 'stand up and get crunk' blaring. the lines out the door and everyone is dancing. Lombardi Gras rules.
his electricity got shut off. i felt like a pilgrim searching for his dick.
He wanted to take a picture with our pizza to show his mom that I was pretty but more importantly that he practices in "sober" activities
Just got invited out of group to take shots after hearing her gay friend say "why would I give him my alcohol so you can suck his dick. It's going to be a good night
he told me to hold it and try to write my name in the snow and it seemed like a bonding moment because neither one of us had ever done that before. i didn't anticipate it vibrating and weirding me out therefore making me let go and get my hand peed on.
So we'll go out later for condoms and cake batter... aka grocery shopping for champions.
I got propositioned while wearing the bottom half of a horse costume. It's like god is apologizing to me in the strangest of ways.
Haha. Fifty shades ain't got shit on me. My tits look like they got in a fight.
It wasnt until i started dancing that i realized i pissed myself dude. I dont think shes gonna call me back.
Woke up this morning with an extra $35 and someone else's ATM receipt. How much did I drink last night?
You rinsed the beer pong ball off in my White Russian
I think i just made eye contact with his roommate... while doing reverse cowgirl. Yup i have no shamee
21st birthday weekend in Vegas has concluded and all I'm missing is my underwear and 'Contacts' icon on my phone home screen.
I just woke up naked in a bed with your brother. WHAT THE HELL HAPPENED TO NOT LETTING EACH OTHER DO STUPID THINGS?
You fucked my brother?!
Note to self: I can rip apart her vagina and she'll still cuddle with me, but if I steal her Chapstick she'll murder me !?
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