Hehe I wanna Australian kiss.. Its like a French kiss but down under ;)
it was all good till he told me to dance slow and quiet
Just found out what was wrong with Esther. Turns out she's 33 and still not married. This explains everything.
Just woke up in bed, AC on high, with a fresh pack of smokes, an unopened pint of vodka, and a bag w a beef patty w cheese in it. I think my roommate's like the toothfairy or something. Or that was way more Xanax than I needed.
she came to the game with a camelback filled with booze. except it was only the bag part so she duct taped to her back
Just pulled over to throw up in a day care parking lot while the kids were outside playing. The adults were mortified.
What a whore. She reminds me of that asian guy who can eat all the hotdogs.
Judging by the amount of alcohol multiplied by the amount of her exes here, tonight will be ending in tears.
He just asked me if I wanted a ride on the "bologna pony." I never wanna have sex again...
Also, yes, I look pretty rough. But my ovaries fought back this morning so getting dressed decently was not a priority.
Showering in not my own throw up is really hittin the spot right now.
Her ass is the reason I still believe in a higher power
Just hooked up my fuck buddy with a job working for my dad...this can only end bad.
I WANT BLOOD. HERS. I WILL DYE A FABULOUS PAIR OF SUEDE PUMPS RED WITH HER BLOOD.
Youre saying I should leave him? Have you seen the dating pool these days? It's terrifying, and in the capital region it's straight Norman Bates
Randomize
