took shots out of a medicine cup. i can get used to college.
I bought a nasal spray, my nose needs to be in order by the weekend
I just found pie in my hoodie pocket... This break needs to end.
I had to step in when you tried to make it rain baking powder on my sister
Was I shouting at a fire engine last Friday?
haha she has always seemed a little off. when i met her i was told she was the queen slut. and she had a crown on at the time. it seemed appropriate.
the repo guy said it was the first time he'd ever started to repo a car with someone fucking inside of it. he might have said 'doing it' instead.
I'm kinda amazed by how many times I've texted the word penis today.
Just tapped my penis on the head and said "this will be your year buddy."
..puke & rally mid art final. HAPPY CINCO DE MAYO!
All the party invite said was a date and "21 to drink, 18ish to sleep over"
gay sex achievement: unlocked
what
you told me you were going out for groceries!!
I'm sitting on your porch drinking wine from the bottle. Just so your new neighbors know what kind of people are in the neighborhood
He walked in on me masturbating and on my phone but got mad because I wasn't watching porn just tweeting
I was drunk, but not drunk enough to forget I had some dude on his knees begging for forgiveness.
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