So my mouth tastes like dick. Does that explain how our talk went?
fuck yea just found my unicorn costume from when i was 8... still fits
I just spit my fake tooth out at a customer. I think he thought it was my bubble gum though so it's ok.
just dropped my bong into 7 pieces, and carried the glass shards around my house. dad saw the blood dripping down my arms, and asked if i slit my wrists. way too high to laugh at this.
she shotgunned a can of v8, threw the can on the ground and said, "fuck bitches get money" then passed out on the spot
Also I just learned you, Samantha, and I three-way made out at my Halloween party. News to me.
So apparently they remodeled our middle school. Looks like we'll need to find a new roof to play beer pong on this summer.
I think my ph in my vagina is actually off from the lack of sex I've had this break compared to finals week.
I feel as if I need Plan B just being in the same room as them for more than 5 minutes.
And now to play every stoner's favorite game: Where the Fuck Did We Park the Car?! Disneyland Edition!
You're a goddess. Probably of destruction and dick jokes, or some shit, but man, lesser bitches wish they could be half as fab.
But I made it seem like I wasn't hungover at work, so that's a plus.
When you didn't respond I figured you must be busy so I'm home in my pj's 2 beers in and stoned from weed I got from my gaybours. They also gave me cake. I'm not moving from this recliner.
I'M SO HIGH I FORGOT HOW TO EAT A STRAWBERRY. A FUCKING STRAWBERRY.
Was just at a stoplight and some kid was smoking a blunt and we smiled at him and he offered to pass it between cars... Only in Rockford
Randomize
