I fucked **** last night, don't tell mike
this is mike. we're done.
if she mentions anything about chili and my phone, just go with it
I've got 15 minutes to eat dinner and drink a 40. Four years of college has all been training for this moment.
I've been meaning to ask you. The first night in the city did we do key bumps with a suicidal homeless man? My memory is fuzzy
drunk old tina is grateful for 14 yr old tina for placing glow-in-the-dark stickers on my light switch...just avoided so many injuries
So I love how we keep introducing our friends to sex toys. It's like pay it forward vibrator edition.
I'm about to do the walk of shame in a christmas onesie. What would I do without christmas sweater party season?
She was wasted talking to my dad about the hunger games than she passed out in the shower and flooded the hotel room...
There was a pirates of the caribbean marathon on. No matter how much you like rum, it is NOT possible to outdrink the pirates. They always win.
At the same time that I bought plan b I got some Girl Scout cookies too. It's not a total loss for you.
I have to date her we need a place to stay for tailgating
Holy shit I'm 26! That took an embarrassingly long time to figure it out, I need to keep buyin weed from this kid
you don't understand it took me an hour and a half to escape that bed, I had to memorize his sleeping patterns.
There is a time and place for BDSM, in-between disney sing-alongs is not one of them.
Emergency. I brought a boy home and we fell asleep, but I just woke up to him peeing against my bedroom wall. So I brought him to the bathroom but he fell over and he's sleeping in the tub. Can I leave him there? Because that's what I've done.
Better the hardwood than the carpet, right?
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