i have a feeling tonight will end in rehab
seriously who else gets carried home puking from a fucking mary kay party?
You would be married by May if you put half as much energy into getting straight guys as you do into getting gay guys
We both bought three foot bongs...going to race to see who can smoke a mile first.
So yeah you need to stop having near death experiences at McDonalds.
Should I tell him the real reason I was in the hospital, or should I just keep him thinking the side effect he thought was in for was allergy related, not I just miscarried the child I didn't know we were having?
Ok spinning in the opposite direction thatg the room was spinning was the worst advice ever
pssssst. you dropped everyone else off and forgot about me. im in the backseat of your car still. can you please come back outside and either let me out or take me home?
Got drunkdialed by my estranged mom while wallowing in pinkeye drinking 100 proof eating ramen alone. Year summed up perfectly.
I went down on her on the dining room table. That should count for something.
The fact our science teacher from high school was buying us drinks and hitting on me doesn't matter.
I'm not the type to go to a guys house...in your case his boat...and sleep with them..I mean I have in the past but I'm trying to be more serious and grown up
Apparently we fucked, I kicked him out, then he came back and we did it on the coffee table and in the kitchen.
DON NOT, UNDER ANY CIRCUMSTANCES WATCH CLOWN PORN.
Our livers get a hall pass for 2020, right?
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