If you really hate me that much, you need to stop letting me put my penis inside of you. It sends the wrong message.
What the fuck. The girl next to me just looked at her phone, put her stuff away, and popped a birth control and ran out of class. Lucky fucking guy.
She said she's saving anal for marriage cuz she has to save something for her husband...seriously just caught myself lookin at rings.
Booyah. Found 8000 pesos in my closet and that's apparently 608 US dollars
Is 9am too early to be eating a mozzarella stick I found in my purse? Yeah didnt think so. The fact that it tastes like vomit is concerning but not importanta.
Just found a note from Saturday that says "rainy soft hair".... Any ideas?
also found a pic of my head in the microwave from the other night.. hmm
We need to drink more. Just think how awesome it would be to wake up in a trailer and NOT remember how wee got here.
Best feedback on my performance so far: "There are things that can't be unseen."
oh btw ur so lucky i got stoned and passed out or we sooo would have bedazzled your dick while you slept. just sayin.
It's cuz all she eats is salt lick, human souls, and fast food
I can't open my mouth wide enough to make full use of this snapchate update
This conversation went from me banging other women's husbands to learning about baked goods. If that isn't personal growth I don't know what is.
That portable toilet under the bed? Turns out it was a tuba. Explains alot.
Im glad your laughing because im currently convincing my penis you didnt mean it and its all gunna be ok.
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