the best job he will get is a sex ed teacher in alabama
Just heard the new 'We are the world' ... Can I get my 10 bucks for Haiti back?
So Ive been fucking her for the past couple months and i just found our that my grandfather and her grandmother were fuck buddies for a while. I feel like this is a new awesome family tradition that skips a generation.
He doesn't make grammatical errors. Even while getting head.
I called her new haircut "lesbian progressive" and now she's upset
I'm applying temporary tattoos with green beer, this is the life.
He screamed "Hug me!" and dove into the bushes. How he gets laid every weekend is beyond me.
She made me be the little spoon then she pretended to be a jet pack for an hour straight
It's only slutty if you don't have his number. Unless there's a full moon. Then anything goes.
Hahahaha don't tempt me. Remember we're trying to avoid airport jail if possible
In that state of mind I managed to bounce back from getting hit by a golf cart and convince an investigations officer that I was okay to go into the game.
So the other day we finished having sex and he literally said "what are we going to do about your vagina?" Like, I hadn't even dismounted him yet.
NO. NONE OF THAT. SHAME ON YOU.
Went and sat in the wrong fucking class for 30 mins, answering questions and shit. What ever this is i will be on it for the rest of the semester.
Remember that Czech tennis player I brought home from beer pong and banged on your couch last year? He just booty calle me. From the Czech Republic.
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