i may or may not have a boner. what are your thoughts
I showed him my bush... on skype.
I had total buyers remorse when i finally got him naked. All that effort for a dude that hairy? Come on.
no, i'm proud of you. this is the happiest you've been since you discovered that bowls can be used as cups if you don't feel like washing dishes.
where does the pee come out of this thing
I was freaked out. No man over 50 is allowed to touch me. Ever. Unless you're Michael Bolton. Then please do.
Well last time he got out of rehab he lasted 6 hours. So 3 days this time is quite an accomplishment.
It's like the blind leading the senile over here.
UPDATE: shit just got real- grandma is threatening to beat grandpa with a wooden spoon covered in chili.
So I come back home and a huge flock of enormous vultures are on my roof
They're waiting for you to die
when i got home she was standing in my front yard not wearing a shirt and halfway crying/ halfway laughing
I'm pretty sure your ex of four years just had a baby with some kid and named it after you...
He was tripping his balls off and kept aggressively saying SIT ON MY FACE. 5 hours and countless orgasms later I've decided I must never let this man go.
I'm getting drunk off Malibu and watching Drag Race and it's only 2 in the afternoon. I'm the poster child for sad gay men.
He punched me in the face while giving him road head, because he was driving stick. I shit you not.
I can't be held responsible for what I do for you after a blowjob like that.
Randomize
