Is it bad to mix sunny d with vodka if i dont have any real OJ?
I've mixd ketchup with vodka before and called it a bloody mary, so, no.
I thought at least he would want to exchange numbers after he tried to put it in my bum
Turned the water balloon filler into a jungle juice fire extinguisher. Please call me tomorrow afternoon and make sure that i'm still alive.
And next time please put a text between discussing my orgasms and discussing your son - that was weird.
Oh and I found some acid for the drive back to school, productive day
I HOPE YOURE READY TO KICK SOME SERIOUS ASS AT TRIVIA NIGHT TOMORROW NIGHT. also, i hope the birth of your niece goes well. BUT MOSTLY TRIVIA NIGHT.
And now for everyone's least favorite sport... Drunk babysitting.
Pretty sure that propositioning you to fly across the country for sex fest '13 isn't something my husband would approve of.
don't give me stepladders when i'm stoned.. i woke up to a slice of balogna nailed to the ceiling
The UTI came back with a vengeance.
Lost my anal v card with Peter Thiel's RNC speech on in the background. Unbelievably appropriate
I mean, I already hooked up with her boyfriend. The least I can do is accept her facebook friend request.
It happend again, swimming on the floor... Vodka is my friend
If you can throw 105 mph it’s mandatory that you’re hung.
Sorry, i'm on a strict diet of vodka and regret
Randomize
