Everyone just saw your hickey on TV and on the jumbotron at the hockey game.
Thanks dad.
wicked high...have munchies. cherry flavor lube. problem solved.
i just opened up my bathroom cabinet to get deodorant and found 4 bottles of natty. Its like the world wants me to miss this interview
No idea how he made them, but vodka water balloons were a horrible idea.
holy shit thats the most artistic dick pic ever
Bad things happen to those who bang their lab partner at the beginning of the semester.
I am going to go Miley Cyrus crazy if I don't get sex soon
Headline in the alligator: young zeta goes berserk after lack of sex and is found naked swinging from wrecking ball on university ave, refuses to get down until sex partner is found
He literally said I should watch game of thrones while I was blowing him like is this the conversation you want to be having right now
I'm smoking in a kimono on the couch. Bring me gin.
yeah but really his dick tasted like soap. like i was blowing a bar of soap
Never remove your contact lenses after eating an entire bag of spicy doritos.
I thought the first time I got peed on it would be by a baby...
shes rolling around in the floor yelling my vagina hates me
I may have made out with your roommate and your cousin tonight. In my defense I thought both of them were your cousin.
Sextember may be over, but Cocktober is just beginning!!!
Randomize
