Look at my ENTIRE past
Highly public sexual behavior gross mismanagement of funds socially unaccpetable and radical speech and thought
Might as well have a blog about it at this point
I didn't shave. On purpose
You found a girl to hook up with at a gay bar?
No. His name was Paco. I didn't get it by choice. I never had a hickey before.
do you know how hard it is to sit through a 3 hour movie with someone and not fuck them?
Dear God. I kissed a man tonight who was born in 1936.
6 other girls and I took an ice cream truck to the bar when we couldn't get a cab. Best birthday ever.
She says I'm cute and I remind her of her brother. She's too hot to back out now. I don't know. I'm guna go for it.
Like wrapping my dick in silk, wrapping that in velvet, and putting it in a cloud. A warm, tight, wet cloud.
They're having lesbian sex while I play super mario world. I hope they like the music
Why is it every time you ask me what I'm doing, I'm at a police station?
I made everyone scream the national anthem with me after playing true American last night. I'm pretty much their leader now.
I felt like I was having sex with Joffrey from Game of Thrones. Needless to say how bad it was
Hi. Tara tells me your sandwiches and stamina are substantial
So woke up naked and found my clothes from last night in my kitchen with a half eaten quesadilla
I mean, I want you to have freaky orgasmic fun to entertain me, but I don’t want you to risk HIV or car crashes
Randomize
