And just as he was about to come, he screamed "Oh Christy!!"
What's wrong with that? Your name IS christy.
He then said, "Oh shit, sorry Julie."
its raining. im dressed as yoda and im trick or treating alone. and i wonder why im still a virgin..
The guy in front of me in lecture is using a fifth of smirnoff as a water bottle.
Nevermind, it's not water.
i'll just tell him I slept with them both because we needed to compare notes
Like my mouth was on his pelvis connected to his balls that's how far it was
Do you have any idea how hard it is to concentrate on legal issues with the ghost of his giant penis in me?
Katie told the cabby "when the boat docks I'm getting off with you"
Can't decide if I want to watch full house or the fleet wood Mac concert during the presidential debate.
Just in case the world ends tomorrow, I have an emergency contact group of booty calls I can send a quick "let's fuck" to before I die.
We did it to 80's cardio music. Talk about a workout.
If he comes over I probably get to fuck him and if he doesn't I don't have to pay him the $60 I owe him for weed. It's a win-win situation.
Um so I might have accidentally on accident maybe blew up the bottom half of your truck...
When I meet her I'm going to have to resist the urge of saying "hey! We're Eskimo sisters!"
I'm at her wedding and she managed to get every single one night stand I ever had in her wedding party. Why does she hate me?
Now, I know I say this a lot, but you've obviously never seen my penis.
Randomize
