He doesn't fuck you and he's married, why do you keep letting him cum all over your stomach?
In the hopes he'll just put it in one day?
Please tell me how you drunkenly remembered your social security number when we were checking you into the ER.
I dont think he was a real cab driver. I think he was just a creepy guy with a van.
only you would end up drunk at a subway with a one-eyed homeless man
After 13 tally marks I wrote the number 4,000 and made u sign my arm to prove it.
He told her hed rather go bobbing for apples in puke than have sex with her.
But life is now good. Well, not good, good would be not wearing the penis hat with the extended family of the boy I just cheated on, but as good as it's going to get today
I'm not asking you to commit. I'm politely asking your penis to be my friend.
Dry heaving on campus is my new low. Also, go pats
I'm so pissed theres no male strip clubs around where we are staying I looked extensively
I want to have sex in my car again before I put the car seat back in
We fucked while The Odyssey played in the background. Homer would be proud.
Really this has to stop, if they get any younger we will be breaking the law
On another note, I almost lost one side of my fake butt. Dancing the wobble with the fake butt isn't recommend.
He asked if I could not say his name during sex cause he liked the girl in the apartment above me.
Randomize
