Turns out vomit takes off spray tan.
Having drunken flash backs of me giving you a piggy back ride. I was like Jesus, and you were my cross. I fell so many times for you. This is true friendship.
Yeah, I wouldn't mind getting fingered in the corner of a dive bar again.
by the time the kitchen caught on fire everyone was too drunk to be alarmed. the host just poured beer on it to put it out. how was yours?
And your cousins porn shouldn't have been the first straight porn you watched. And for that I am sorry
Also I feel that I would be a hell of a sled dog operator.
A big dick and how quickly they respond to snapchat is all I look for in a guy
Someone should make a valentines day card that says "I like the way you continuously consume thc with no concept of a limit other than drug supply" Because I'd send that to you.
I know I've never told you this before.. but Gyro sauce makes everything okay.
He called my boobs fluffy. Part sexy part pilsbury dough boy. Part sexy pilsbury dough boy. I'm so confused. And flattered?
I was giving him a handjob in the woods and a family walked by
I think I'm just gonna exercise my lungs and fingers. With bong hits and crochet. BECAUSE I AM A REAPONSIBLE ADULT DAMMIT!!
There's a weed, money and oreo filled pinata promised for our party.
Love waking up to a new contact named “Pizza” btw
I'm not sure what happened. There's a frozen waffle in the floor and he's walking around with a curtain rod and making planes out of bread slices...
Randomize
